She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
