Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
