On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
