Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
