I want to walk on stilts...naked
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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