the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
from now on my penis is your penis
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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