what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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