All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
