It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize