Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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