Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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