The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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