Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
