that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
