sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
