i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
