She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
