I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
