She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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