After last night, I could never be a politician.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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