I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
