Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
