cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
