the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
