sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
