pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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