i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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