They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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