My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just pee around me
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize