I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
