i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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