yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
