nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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