As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
