Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am mentally ready for anal.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize