lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
