Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
