can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
