smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
