I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
