I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
