I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
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Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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