I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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