it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
