I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
