She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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