Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
