New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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