does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize