It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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