Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
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i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
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im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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