She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize