porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
