Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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