What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
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It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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