there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
