I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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