I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
