i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
