he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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